NaNoWriMo: Day 29 & 30 / It's Over!

And thus concludes NaNoWriMo, and I have reached a whopping 32 some thousand words. And I am POOPED! But I reached my goal, and now I'm gunna celebrate with a nice glass bottle of wine.

NaNoWriMo: Day 28 / Explanation of Day 27

For those of you who have not seen Stephen King's, "The Shining," this clip from YouTube should clear things up about my current mindset about this whole NaNoWriMo fiasco.

Christmas shopping is, like, so difficult.

Christmas shopping (here at B&N--I'm sitting here now) is so difficult because there are a million-and-one things I'd love to get everyone on my list, but I can't, and well, quite frankly it sucks.

And so, I just got what I could, and now it's time to get some coffee and get writing because I'm at the NaNoWriMo write-in, and well, that's the point of being here--not shopping & not typing this. Whoops.

NaNoWriMo: Day 27 / Makes Sarah a dull girl.

NaNoWriMo = REDRUM

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*For an explanation of this post, do see this one.

NaNoWriMo: Day 26 / In Case of Novel Emergency

Here it is, Day 26 of my NaNo adventure, and I've reached panic mode. Luckily, our lovely co-ML, Cyli, gave all of us NaNoWriMo'ers a Novel Emergency Bag to use upon reaching this point with the following instructions inscribed:

1. OPEN BAG
2. PLACE OVER MOUTH
3. TAKE SIX DEEP BREATHS

She forgot one very vital step; however, which I've taken the liberty of adding:

4. EAT CHOCOLATE

NaNoWriMo: Days 23, 24, & 25 / Giving up my word counter

So days 23 and 24 of NaNoWriMo have passed and here I am on day 25 when I've given up my word counter. I am going to stop checking how many words I have, and just type and type and pour and type some more (so my word count updater will stay quite stagnant for those of you who are curious about where I am). I know I've been rather silent about my novel/memoir, but that's because a lot of it--quite frankly--sucks and I'm embarrassed by it, but other portions of it are so intimate and scary that I feel scared to share it in such an open forum. Scared of who will see it and read it and judge me. There is anonymity in the Web, but there is an openness about, too (as all bloggers know), and there are people who may be reading this (this particular person is an avid Googler), and so I've been silent here, but not there.

But as this last week of NaNo closes out, I'm not sure I will even make it to my original goal, but I don't really mind because I'm going to keep on writing until what I've started is done. And as for this blog, I'm gunna keep going with it, too, because I've been liking talking to myself and getting my thoughts out even if they are rambling and nonsensicle at times.

NaNoWriMo: Day 22 / Recapturing Memories

When I set out this month to do NaNoWriMo, my only goal was to reach 30,000 words. That, and to recapture some of my so forgotten memories. While I am still quite a ways away from reaching 30,000 words, I did accomplish my second task of recapturing memories. When Chris and I went to John K. King Books a while back, a lone tattered copy of one of the Wizard of OZ books made me weep right there among the dusty shelves as it jostled a lodged memory from the back of my head--as a child I owned the entire set. In my memories it was a complete set of some 40+ first editions given to me by my Russian grandmother (on my biological father's side)--I'm not sure if there were really first editions, but I was taken back to when I held those books in my four-year-old hands in awe of the sketches held inside its covers. But inside the pages there were lands that I could be transported off to while my mother read to me until I fell asleep or whenever I wanted when the yelling started and the doors began to slam.

I don't know what ever came of those books--we left rather abruptly from our home on Oliver Street in Hamtramck to live in random motel rooms with a man I barely knew who I would come to know as Daddy. And not only did we (my mother and I) leave without my beloved books, we also left without shoes on our feet--which is an entirely different story in itself (the one I am writing for NaNo), but I say all this because when I look back to that time in my life those books mean the most to me. Somehow in those pages I feel connected back to that street I grew up on.. to the grandmother I barely knew, and the father I never met.

And so here I am holding two treasured copies--recreating memories if you will--and I swear by whomever or whatever deity that I am going to pass them onto my own daughter who will never be forced to leave all she ever had or knew behind.

NaNoWriMo: What is it? Day 20? 21?

Tonight is the write-in here in lovely Davison, Michigan. I may have to be rude tonight and pop on my headphones and drown out all the fun conversations humming around my head. It's the one [of many] curse[s] of being behind and ADD--I get terribly distracted by everything anything that goes around me (which is why working from home suits me better than a 'real' office because I have a feeling at a 'real' office, I'd get nothing done and my ass would get fired). But anyways, my goal for tonight is....

2,500 WORDS!!!

Wish me well my fellow NaNoWri'mers who may be reading this. And if you are a NaNo'er, wish me luck just the same.

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Edit: Okay, so I didn't make it to 2,500 words. I'm a looooooozer.

NaNoWriMo: Days 17, 18, & 19

I really don't want to talk about it. I really wish I never started this, but damnit, I'm gunna finish it, and that's all I gotta say about it.

You got me wrapped around your finger.

You know you're a mommy writer when you've got a baby in one arm and a laptop power cord wrapped around the other. And not to mention the mop of messy mom hair.

Chocolate, it's in her blood.

I have so much of THIS in my bloodstream from tonight's NaNoWriMo write-in / [more photos here, too] that I have to sit here and sip a glass of wine to calm my poor heart down.

NaNoWriMo: Days 15 & 16

Yesterday was insanely unproductive on the NaNo front, but today I've promised myself to do better.** I posted a SOS to my fellow Flinttown (Flintown?) NaNo'ers and they had a bundle of advice* for me:

1. Remove all novel files from flash drive and put onto computer. Leave work on flash drive and remove all work from computer and put the work from the computer on flash drive. Put flash drive and all other work crap and distracting crap (like bills!) into my "Box of Crap." Place box in closet. Slam shut door. Walk away. Try not to look back, and forget about it.


2. It's okay to rant and rave and smash things across my desk or throw sock balls at husband, when needed.


3. Music to fit the mood of what I'm trying to write is good. Tastes range from Madonna, to Cannibal Corpse, to Natalie Merchant, to Bach.


4. It's okay to cry and scream when needed.


5. When children are noisy and driving me insane and their howls rise up from the hellish bowels of the living room/romper room, and I cannot think, ear plugs are a great thing to have on hand--or in my ear, whichever seems most appropriate at the time.


6. Typoos aRe okay--tip fist and fixx lter (completely opposite of my nature).


7. And lastly, surround myself with things that make me smile and/or are inspiring, such as photos...

...like these ones, that remind me it's okay to get down and get dirty and play messy. And when all else ceases to work, point the finger at someone else because it's always their fault anyways.

*This advice has been adapted, slightly, for humor's sake.

** I did do better; I wrote 1969 words during the write-in on Day 16.

NaNoWriMo: Day 14 / Loosing Steam

Sigh. I just don't have the mental power to stay in this race to hit 50,000 words. When I went into this, I only wanted 30,000 words knowing full well that I'm over-extended with responsibilities, but I'm having a hard time just reaching the 15,000 mark. I want to finish what I started, but my brain is so muddled that I feel like I JUST CAN'T DO THIS!

I hate making excuses--I really, really, really do--but today I advised five papers for the EWC, which took me EIGHT HOURS, and after eight hours of sitting and typing and thinking of how someone else can improve their writing just simply DRAINS me of all self-motivation to WRITE for ME.

I only want to slam my laptop closed, unplug my zip drive (where my so-called-novel is stored along with all my EWC documents) and toss it out the window--or, or--better yet, shove it down the garbage disposal with tonight's twice-heated chicken.

But as I write this, I realize that I really, really, really DON'T want to do that--I DO want to finish what I started, I just can't seem to get my Little Engine going in the direction that I want to go, instead of the many directions everyone else wants me to go.

NaNoWriMo: Day 13 / Movin' on up!

You know you've moved up in the world when you stop writing in 10-cent spiral notebooks while swigging on a 2-for-$5 bottles of Boone's Farm listening to bootlegged cassette tapes and start typing on a $550 notebook computer while sipping on a glass of $7.99 [yellow tail] wine listening to your CD collection.

NaNoWriMo: Days 11 & 12

A BIG thank you to InkyGirl for this laugh! I hear ya, sista!

Well, day 11 wasn't all that productive, but two Prozacs later, I feel more ready to delve into my writing today on day 12. To be perfectly honest (hell, why not be honest, I don't think too many people are reading this), but I hit a rough spot yesterday when a dam broke open and my mind got flooded with hellish memories. When writing a memoir and when my mind is so fragile, that's the chance I take--that by writing 'something' will be remembered rending me useless. But--this may be cheating--I am going to 'fast forward' a few years to happier times until the Prozac kicks in all the way, and then I'll back track and pick up in the past where I left off.

Not only is my depression standing in my way, but factor in a full-time work-at-home job, my kids, the sometimes very needy hubby (he is working on a line of comic books, and me, being the only computer savy nerd in the house, I'm left to scan, tweak, and format his images into a printable format), and the cooking, and the cleaning (well, the hubby does the bulk of that, but I am the only one who ever cleans the sh*t stains from the toliet and the toothpaste off the bathroom mirror)--so in other words, I AM OVERWHELMED!

NaNoWriMo: Day 9

Today I went to the NaNoWriMo write-in here in town, and I must admit I didn't get a whole lot of writing in (just about 250 words), but I did get in a lot of conversation. It's refreshing meeting people who you can carry on an intelligent conversation with without it feeling strange. There are more things I could say, but quite frankly my caffeine buzz is wearing off and my brain is feeling quite muddled. Maybe I'll have something more important to say in the morning, but I am so glad I went.

NaNoWriMo: Day 8

I HAVE A DAY OFF FROM WORK TODAY!! WOOOOO!!

My goal is a total word count of 10,000. Wish me luck.

NaNoWriMo: Days 6 & 7

It's been an agonizing two days--type two sentences, get distracted, check work inbox, OH MY GOD! I HAVE SIX PAPERS TO ADVISE, try to put it out of my mind, type two more sentences, close out, advise.

There are things to love about my job and things to hate about my job. I love the fact that I can make decent money helping other writers write, but I hate my job because it doesn't leave ME much time to write.

But then, when I do have the time to write, I have such a hard time switching from my academic voice to a creative one that I just end up sitting there picking away at the skin of the onion and not really getting to the creative stuff underneath that can make you cry (of both pain and of laughter). So I just sit and poke away waiting for the tears to come.

NaNoWriMo: Day 5

The problem with writing is reading your thoughts after actually getting seven hours of sleep and drinking a large cup of coffee because you are awake enough to wonder who wrote that? Why did she share it? An what on earth was she thinking? Because you sure as hell have no clue.

NaNoWriMo: Day 4

....and she's off! Logan is sleeping. Hubby is sleeping. Molly isn't sleeping, but the Disney morning line-up will hold her attention for at least an hour, and so here I go trying to make up for lost words. (Well, the words aren't really lost, I just need to capture them onto the paper [screen?] before they try and fly away.)

***NEWSFLASH***

In spite of the fact that Sarah has been caring for two children since 4:30 am after only sleeping for a mere 4.75 hours, she has broken the 4,000 word mark at 09:01 AM; and there is no sign of her letting up.