365 Days/Day 2: B O O K S.

Well, you should know that with a last name like,"Reed," I have gotta like books. Especially half-priced used paperbacks from the Hill Road's Jellybeans. Here I am trying to recapture some youth looking for a copy of,"Blubber," by Judy Blume, to read during my week off from the Writing Center.

I didn't find the copy I wanted--the one with the old style cover, a sketch of the "Blubber Girl." I think it is green. All they had was a newer version, and so I am still looking.

NaNoWriMo: Day 14 / Loosing Steam

Sigh. I just don't have the mental power to stay in this race to hit 50,000 words. When I went into this, I only wanted 30,000 words knowing full well that I'm over-extended with responsibilities, but I'm having a hard time just reaching the 15,000 mark. I want to finish what I started, but my brain is so muddled that I feel like I JUST CAN'T DO THIS!

I hate making excuses--I really, really, really do--but today I advised five papers for the EWC, which took me EIGHT HOURS, and after eight hours of sitting and typing and thinking of how someone else can improve their writing just simply DRAINS me of all self-motivation to WRITE for ME.

I only want to slam my laptop closed, unplug my zip drive (where my so-called-novel is stored along with all my EWC documents) and toss it out the window--or, or--better yet, shove it down the garbage disposal with tonight's twice-heated chicken.

But as I write this, I realize that I really, really, really DON'T want to do that--I DO want to finish what I started, I just can't seem to get my Little Engine going in the direction that I want to go, instead of the many directions everyone else wants me to go.

NaNoWriMo: Days 6 & 7

It's been an agonizing two days--type two sentences, get distracted, check work inbox, OH MY GOD! I HAVE SIX PAPERS TO ADVISE, try to put it out of my mind, type two more sentences, close out, advise.

There are things to love about my job and things to hate about my job. I love the fact that I can make decent money helping other writers write, but I hate my job because it doesn't leave ME much time to write.

But then, when I do have the time to write, I have such a hard time switching from my academic voice to a creative one that I just end up sitting there picking away at the skin of the onion and not really getting to the creative stuff underneath that can make you cry (of both pain and of laughter). So I just sit and poke away waiting for the tears to come.

Finally done, and now I'm getting nervous.

I'm finally done, after nearly 3.5 hours, with my last request of the day--for those of you who are reading this, and who do not know me personally, I am an online writing advisor for the University of Maryland's Effective Writing Center (EWC), which means, in a very basic way, I am a student (barely a Sophomore) who advises other students on their writing (and it never ceases to amaze me how I able to do this with so little formal education, but I just can).

And this leads me to say, that I've been sitting in front of this laptop for the last three hours, and it may have been longer than that because my batteries, which last two hours, ran out twice, and I am getting so terribly nervous about HOW IN THE HELL AM I GOING TO FIND THE TIME!! to write 50,000 WORDS!! in ONE!! month with ALL THE RESPONSIBILITIES!! I have??? (Picture me scrunching and smashing my face like Play-Doh right now with my mouth agape.) It just doesn't seem possible, but golly-gee, I just gotta do this. I really have to do this--and not for anyone else, but just for me.